Comedian Buddy Harris, left, along with the only woman on Earth who can stand him, Julie Palermo, right.
I’m late with my column this week. I apologize, but unlike high school, I have a good excuse (kind of).
This was an important week for me. For months, I’ve been staring at this week on my calendar. For months, this week had the word “CELEBRATION” written across it. And, for months, I knew that if I made it to that word on that calendar, then I was probably healthy. That word was a marker, a goal, or better yet, it was a finish line of sorts.
It’s hard to believe one word scribbled over five squares helped me get through the rough days, but it did. It was a reminder that everything was temporary. I would count the days and think, “before I know it, I’ll be sad the celebration is already over.” And as I sit here back in Pennsylvania, I must say, I have never been so right.
I was going to be performing in Florida this week, which was a first for me. More importantly, Julie was able to take time away from life and made plans to come, too. We figured it would be a perfect time to reset. It would give us a chance to get away from reality for a minute and officially close this chapter in our book.
Experiences like cancer can change people. It can cause questions about mortality, change hopes, dreams and wants. And it doesn’t just attack the patient. It attacks those around them.
While I was clearly affected by having cancer, I would argue that some days were more challenging for Julie, who was stuck by my side, helpless and frustrated. She would never use the word “stuck,” but it fits. Neither of us were able to move forward with plans or dreams or with life in general. We were at a standstill.
It was finally time to turn the page though, and to turn that page together. We were going to step back from life, assess everything, and redirect our paths. Florida has some great outlets, so we also had to do some shopping too.
For me, I recognized during this getaway that I felt rushed. I missed five months of normal life and I was trying to play catchup. Due to that, I have been getting frustrated quickly with the people around me. I have been being short and grumpy. Patience, something that was a strong attribute of mine, I had lost. I realized that I needed to leave all of this in the chapter that I was moving on from. Start fresh.
I know it isn’t realistic for everyone to plan a trip to look forward to. That’s fine. But plan something. Place a marker on the calendar. A thing that says, “I made it.” Through what? Well, that is for you to decide. We all don’t have the same story. This time, for me, it was cancer. Next time, maybe it’ll be from work, or the kid’s school schedule, or just because life is hectic.
No matter the reason, it is important we take a moment and pat ourselves on the back and say, “I did it.” It’s important to mindfully close one chapter and start a new one. It is important to step out of the race and make sure you are still on the track you want to be on.
I have been home for 24 hours and so far, this chapter is looking promising. I have practiced patience all day (and with 3 kids, I have had a lot of practice). Julie and I are on the same page and that feels wonderful! I feel refreshed and recharged. More people are reading this column and sharing it and I have some amazing shows coming up (for example https://nightout.com/events/franklininstitute/tickets).
Yup, I am really excited about this chapter…
See also:
Our Rebuild: Juice And Science Stuff
Our Rebuild: Finding Inspiration In Frustration
Our Rebuild: Make Yourself A Priority
Our Rebuild: The Journey Begins Today
