It began, as most great stories do, at a Denny's in Delco.
Police say 39-year-old William Martin is accused of theft at the Denny's on Thursday night. After leaving the restaurant. Martin allegedly sprayed fire extinguishers inside a nearby warehouse and stole a forklift.
Shortly thereafter, a woman called Tinicum Township police to report a crash involving--you guessed it--a forklift. The woman said that a man (presumably Martin) was doing doughnuts on the forklift, lost control, and crashed into her Ford Explorer before driving away.
Minutes later Martin allegedly rammed the forklift into a SpringHill Suites shuttle bus, causing major damage.
Undeterred, and possibly learning how to better maneuver the forklift, Martin allegedly made his way to Wawa. People inside the store say he threatened folks with his trusty fire extinguisher before stealing Gatorade and some cigarettes.
Classic.
6abc Action News put together this map of the forklift journey:
The wild crime spree finally came to an end down the road from the Wawa. The forklift crashed into a church, causing significant damage to the building. Martin was found inside, once again spraying his fire extinguisher.
Among other crimes, Williams is charged with burglarly, theft, and criminal mischief.
But it's unclear whether Williams should face any charges at all. He is clearly just a Flyers fan swept up in Michkov Mania. And he needed cigs.
Relatable, no?
The Flyers play the Buffalo Sabres on Saturday at 7:00 p.m.