Sunday is Mother’s Day. While companies like Hallmark likely rejoice, how many mothers really are? Is it an important day? Or is it just another Sunday for moms everywhere?
In my opinion, that all has to do with the family. Mother’s Day is one of those days mom isn’t supposed to plan. In our house, at least, Mom is the planner. Mom knows who has baseball practice, and who has dance. Mom schedules the doctor’s appointments, and knows when the kids are due for the next dental cleaning.
But on days of celebrations that mom doesn’t plan (few and far between as they may be), it becomes up to the dad and/or kids to make the plan. It isn’t surprising that this becomes a challenge to many, as they lack the experience and understanding that is required.
I don’t blame the dad or the kids. When moms do so much for the family, I think it is hard for them to do things for themselves. I constantly worry that helping the kids with things like cleaning, laundry, dishes…that I’m making them unable to do these things themselves. I am, in short, enabling them. I enable them to be lazy.
Doing “it all” for the family often leads to them forgetting just how much they need or expect from you. When mom is sick, for example, the house tends to fall apart. Laundry and dishes stack up. Housework falls to the wayside. It happens.
I’m not sure when and where and how moms got charged with these duties. I only know we tend to be the ones that take on these roles. Maybe we watch our own mothers, and continue the cycle? Maybe we are somehow inherently predisposed to these chores? Do we naturally just see more of the filth? Do we tend to take over planning because we were “born that way?”
Whatever the reason, moms do a lot. And this Sunday is the day to show her you’re grateful. It is a day to acknowledge all she does do for you and the family.
So, charged with the planning yourself, what are you going to do, dad? Kids? Any ideas?
My advice? Do what mom wants. I think far too often, the family thinks of ideas they would like to do. They think of what is easiest for them, or convenient for the day.
I do not, nor would most moms I’d think, want the family to go way out of the way. We don’t want an inconvenience either. What we want is something simple.
Most moms would be thrilled with a day off. Maybe let mom catch up on Netflix or a new book. Maybe mom wants a long bath, in a quiet house.
Many popular options include a brunch, lunch or dinner out. That is nice. Many moms may like that. I would be happy, at least, to not have to cook or clean up after a meal.
Others purchase flowers or luxurious gifts, like jewelry. I, for one, have never found either of those gifts to be useful or wanted. Don’t get me wrong. Many moms do love those things. I just think flowers die, thusly wasting money in a tight family budget. I think much the same about expensive jewelry. They may not die, but again is not the most useful spending of the family’s cash.
When funds are tight, moms may find pleasure in the simplest of gifts. Take the kids to the park for a few hours. Take them to a movie. Give mom a break.
Make the breakfast/lunch/dinner for the day. Do the dishes. Take over the laundry. Whatever mom is usually “expected” to do; do it for her.
The bottom line: Mom doesn’t need flashy. Mom doesn’t often want you to go crazy. Mom just needs a break, peace, calm. Think of what mom wants. Do what is best for her.
I cannot speak for all moms, of course. You know your mom best. Whatever would make her life easier, simpler, calmer…that’s something she can use. It may not come from the flower shop. It may not come from the Hallmark aisle. But, if it truly comes from the heart, mom will love it.
See also:
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Montco Mommy: Caring For Oneself Allows The Caring For Others
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