I love my children. They are the most important two humans in my entire universe. I’d die for them. I’d give them any organ they’d need, even if it was my only one. I’d do whatever was necessary to make sure they are both happy, healthy and taken care of, for the rest of my days.
Call it instinct. Call it nature. Call it love. I’m not entirely sure. But, from the day I knew I was having them, while they were just a small group of cells growing inside of me, I’ve known that they’d be the two most important people I’d ever know.
I’m not saying all of this to prove what an awesome mom I am, or to gloat or boast about how I feel. I think, for the most part, most moms feel the same. I don’t think I’m special or anything.
Instead, I say all of this so you can understand how serious my feelings are about the one person in your family you are not taking care of: yourself. While I’d truly give my life for either my son or my daughter and do anything in my power to be sure they live happy lives, I still have to remember that to do so, I need to take care of me, too.
I think this is a fact most moms, in logical terms, understand, but seldom follow. I also know moms that don’t do it nearly at all. I’ve read articles, seen many studies, and I think science agrees: you are still allowed to be you.
You are going to need to take care of you, or you won’t be around long enough to take care of them.
Moms tend to put others first, no matter the cost to themselves. We run to baseball practices and school plays. We make sure dinner is on the table, and the uniforms are clean. We scrub bathrooms and help with homework. And, somehow, many of us find time to also work a part-or-full-time job, volunteer, or follow a hobby.
But, what we don’t do, at least nearly enough, is worry about ourselves. Just because they’re the most important people in your lives, and even if you always “put them first,” you need to remember there is still a “you” in there.
Long before we were moms, we were people. We had interests and loves, hobbies and entertainment. We enjoyed ourselves, and took time out to do those things we loved.
As we become moms, grow our families, and perhaps just age overall, somewhere in the middle of that many of us get lost. We have so much we must do on a regular basis for the family that we forget to be sure we are happy and healthy, too.
Going out with friends, enjoying a happy hour, joining a book club, hitting the gym…whatever your passions involve, make time for them. Make time for you.
On one very basic level, moms need to care for themselves just to stay healthy and capable of all the daily tasks required of us. If we are constantly sick or tired or run down, we won’t be able to make every game, help with every project, or sew every costume. If we continue to push ourselves, even more serious consequences can ensue, such as hospital time, extended illness or eventual death.
Yes, I realize that all seems extreme, but losing yourself, even a little bit at a time, will take its toll in one way or another. It may be your health that fails. It may be your sanity that pays the price. It may also start to hurt you emotionally. You may feel like you aren’t worth much. You may lose your sense of self altogether.
Clearly, we can’t always make everything about ourselves, but we as moms need to make sure we are taking care of that one person we neglect in the family: ourselves. Take a walk alone. Take that trip with the girlfriends. Join that moms’ club. Enroll in that class. Take a hot bath. Read a book. Whatever way you feel you can, try to take small steps to get “you” back.
Taking time out for us doesn’t make us bad moms. Enjoying yourself doesn’t mean you are lesser of a mother. Yes, the children will always come first. Yes, you live and die for them, but to truly care for them you need to focus on you sometimes too.
Don’t let others decide what is best or right for you. If you need time out for yourself, take it. If you feel yourself getting lost, find time for you. Yes, we are moms. But we are also friends, and daughters, wives and coworkers, neighbors and sisters. Enjoy yourself. You’re allowed.
Without moms, most families would struggle to keep afloat. So, make sure your “captain” gets some down time.
See also:
Montco Mommy: Struggling To Get Kids To Eat Healthy
Montco Mommy: Allowance Versus Responsibilities
Montco Mommy: 'Sno Reason for Snow Days
Montco Mommy: Preparing Kids for Work
